The first impression that everyone gets when looking at me is that i am a very loud outgoing person. I am usually the loudest in the room and definitly the most talkative. But, the first impression can also be the wrong impression. As a child i was not the most loudest. i played by myself and did not really want to be carried or even played with. As i got older the quietness turned into shyness. i would not be able to talk to anyone without my heart beating fast and my palms getting sweaty. it takes me awhile to get comfortable enough around someone to talk around them. Although i am very shy and friendly most people get the impression that i am very stuck up and self centered. it is true, i love to be alone and sometimes i do not want to be bothered, but i am a very welcoming person who is fulled with good spirit. i have been told to be "too much" of a nice person at times. i can not and will not hold a grudge to anyone and i will never reject a friend. i am a guilt person and my coinscience seems to also catch up to me.
i dont like opening up to people because i believe that once people get the ability to see your weak spot you become a victim to their bad treatment and critism. keeping your feelings bottled up is more better and safer then telling someone who can potentially hold it against you and talk about it to people who should not know your business. i rather be bottled up with my emotions then out there and be judge.people see me as a very honest person and yes this is true, but i dont always speak my mind the way i should. i hold my breathe at times and just suck up whatever is bothering me.this is one of my biggest problems, but this is also something that i am use to doing so when the time comes that i have to stay shut, i will do it with no problems.
